“You keep on rowin’, and I’ll keep on smilin’.” “Happy Go Lucky” Review

“Happy-Go-Lucky”

2008

**½ out of ****

Director: Mike Leigh

Cast: Sally Hawkins, Eddie Marsan, Alexis Zegerman

 

 

Mike Leigh’s new film “Happy-Go-Lucky” is a fine example as to why the star-rating system is flawed. When someone uses the star-rating system, they are rating how much they liked or disliked the movie. A reviewer cannot use words to describe their feelings of a film when it comes to the star-rating system. As I was watching “Happy-Go-Lucky,” I couldn’t help but feel that I was missing something that every other reviewer got from it.

 

The above star-rating of the film is not rating my approval of the film. If I was to give you guys MY rating for the film, it would have been a star less. No, the rating above is me being nice to the film, telling you guys that you should go see it, because in all of the depressing films this year, such as “W.” and “Twilight,” you should go see a film that was hidden behind all others. It’s cheery, but too cheery for me. I’m not sure what everyone else would get from the movie, but that’s why I’m telling you now – just catch it on DVD sometime.

 

Poppy (Sally Hawkins) is an elementary school teacher in the heart of London where nothing can possibly get her down. She walks about with her joyish and happy-go-lucky attitude and tries to make everyone happy. She lives with her roommate, (Alexis Zegerman) who are so close to each other that you would think that they were lesbians. Her sister Suzy (Kate O’Flynn) is pregnant and tries to ask Poppy when it is about time to grow up and start acting like a real human being. And her driving instructor Scott (Eddie Marsan) just can’t get over how giddy she is and how miserable he is, and starts taking his feelings out on her.

 

That is about all you will get from “Happy-Go-Lucky.” There is no trace of storyline throughout the film. We’re just watching Poppy unintentionally annoy people with her happiness. I think I got something out of the film that no one else got from it, and that was that it felt good to frown. Poppy is so happy that it literally annoys the shit out of you, and you realize it from the first five minutes. She walks into a book-store after parking her bike, and once her bike is stolen, she says to herself, “I never got to say goodbye.” I don’t think this was really supposed to be funny, because if this was me, I’d go steal a fucking car to go find the bastard that took my bike.

 

And this is just the beginning of her happiness. She is so happy that some of her actions seem almost appropriate for a retard. Every Saturday during her driving tests she would wear these shoes that make her driving instructor flip out on her. She just laughs it off and throws a one-liner out, Groucho Marx style. She is almost a three-year old girl at heart.

 

Maybe that is the problem of the film. Maybe she IS too happy. I don’t have a problem if people like being happy. I occasionally frown upon people who are happy to see that their bike gets stolen though, and I certainly hate it when people act like an idiot just so they can get a bit of enjoyment in themselves. I guess I’m just a miserable bastard, but “Happy-Go-Lucky” is just not working for me.

That doesn’t mean that it isn’t going to work for you. There are plenty of things in this film that work. Director Mike Leigh does a great job as the director of the film, and even though his screenplay is just a little bit on the off-side, he shows a few great camera-angles. I don’t know enough about the director himself, being that this is the first Leigh film that I’ve seen, but knowing from some of the reactions from other film critics about his films, I’m pretty sure that he is a great director and screenwriter. Maybe seeing this first just wasn’t the smartest thing to do if I really wanted to get inside his mind.

 

Sally Hawkins really does deserve an Oscar nomination. I know how hard it is to play someone that is happy all of the time. While working and doing other stuff that doesn’t involve movies or weightlifting or buying slurpees or even eating some good Chinese food, it is almost hard just to be happy with your life. To wake up for school everyday at 6:15 in the morning and being bombarded with shit to do afterwards, the only thing you can look forward to is the weekends. And Poppy almost lives a life like me. She has to get up early so she can go to school, being bombarded afterwards with conflicts with her children, trampoline-jumping, and dancing. I don’t know how she does it on the weekends though – she can get screamed at and still be happy.

 

Oh, where was I again? Oh yeah, she deserves to be nominated. Not to win, but just enough to go to the lunch-in and get recognized.

 

And if there was a god, he would place Eddie Marsan on the Oscar nominee ballots. Like Hawkins, he would never win, but I think this role deserves a lot of recognition. He plays the cynical driving instructor who hates almost everything in the world, including England’s educational system (which seemingly plays a lot like America’s, now that I think about it) and the people on the road. His role is a complete opposite to Hawkins’s, which would be an easier role to play. But I shouldn’t lie to you guys, because his last monologue just couldn’t be acted by anyone. Only a talented actor could say lines like that.

 

There are a few problems here and there, mainly conflicts that are left open. We are introduced to Poppy’s trampoline-jumping and dancing, but they’re quickly forgotten about. If it didn’t come down to a few of the notes that I took while watching the film, I probably would have forgotten about the scenes too. It isn’t needed for any plot-development at all. Another conflict is her relationship with her sister. They fight in one scene in the second half that doesn’t seem resolved. The film needed a lot of work, and we’re left with this unfinished product.

 

“Happy-Go-Lucky” really could have been a better film. If it wasn’t for the acting, there would be barely anything here. I didn’t want to say this, but “Happy-Go-Lucky” is an adult version of “Napoleon Dynamite.” And that isn’t a good thing.

“I bet ya if I suggested a game of Quidditch, he’d cum in his pants.” – “Role Models” Review

“Role Models”

2008

*** out of ****

Director: David Wain

Cast: Paul Rudd, Seann William Scott, Elizabeth Banks

 

 

Before I was interested in reviewing films, I was interested in writing them. This is no lie. I could tell you tons and tons of premises that I worked on, but I won’t, fearing that you might be a secret Hollywood personality that might try and steal my ideas, “Big Fat Liar” style. But I can tell the story of one of them – one of my ideas that I felt like writing a screenplay for would be two co-workers who ended up having to do community service for three months time and have to spend time with kids that have problems. I figured that the title would be, coincidentally, “Role Models.”

 

And I’m dead serious.

 

That filmmaking dream ended as soon as I became interested in watching movies more than I wanted to make them, and then I quickly forgot a few of the ideas that I had. After watching a comedic version of my idea called “Role Models,” it brought me back to one of the ideas that I had about the movies that I wanted to make. And even though this one was a totally different subject than the one I would have made, I would like to say that this is the “Role Models” that I now would have loved to make.

 

Danny (Paul Rudd) is a cynical 35-year old guy who just wishes that he could do something else with his life. Wheeler, (Seann William Scott) on the other hand, is so loose that he needs a belt-buckle around his personality to keep it from falling down. These two men go from school to school in a Minotaur outfit telling students to stay away from drugs but drink the power of an energy drink called Minotaur. When Danny’s girlfriend Beth (Elizabeth Banks) breaks up with him, Danny gets so mad that he tells a school of kids to start using drugs. Once leaving the school, he discovers the company’s truck getting towed, and decides to take matters in his own hands… and you know that it doesn’t go so right.

 

So Beth, being the lawyer that she is, talks the judge into giving the two men a break by letting them to community service at a place called Sturdy-Wings, ran by ex-drug addict Gayle Sweeney. (Jane Lynch in a star-stealing performance) Danny is paired up with uber-geek Augie Farks (Christopher “McLovin” Mintz-Plasse) who is interested in knights and fairies and shit like that. Wheeler happens to get the demon-child from hell who goes by the name of Ronnie. (Bobb’e J. Thompson) While these men begin learning how to grow up and act more responsible, they begin finding what it means to exist in the world.

 

“Role Models” is directed by David Wain of TV’s “The State” and films such as “Wet Hot American Summer” and “The Ten.” You can see traces of “The State” and the films all around “Role Models.” There are cameos from some of the show’s cast members and the humor is just on par from the show and the two films. Not to mention that “Role Models” is funnier than “The Ten” and “Wet Hot American Summer” combined, it contains some of the best choreography that I’ve seen this year. I don’t want to spoil what the choreography is for, but you’ll probably be coming out thinking the same thing.

 

Paul Rudd does an excellent job at staying cynical while still finding a little bit of heart in his role. Even though it is just a small, dark heart, he manages to be funny and likeable at the same time. There’s a scene where he is attacking a Starbuck’s waitress when she tells him that a “venti” is a large coffee, and while it is deadly funny, think about what this says about Rudd’s character. Is he so desperate for a little bit of action in his life that he picks a fight against a lady a little more than half his age just because he can?

 

And it feels good to see Seann William Scott in a role that is funny again. The last time he made me laugh this hard was “American Wedding,” and Stifler has been resurrected as a comedic god. This role is almost the exact opposite of Stifler, except this guy still really likes the ladies. This guy is good around kids, isn’t nearly as mouthy, and still knows how to have a good time without getting drunk. That, and he has a good taste in music and movies. Quite frankly, Wheeler may be Scott’s best character.

 

The movie is controlled by its supporting characters, though. Bobb’e J. Thompson plays a foul-mouthed ten year old kid, and is easily the bright side of the film. Whenever he calls Rudd a Ben Affleck lookalike, it is absolutely hilarious. Christopher Mintz-Plasse plays almost the exact opposite of McLovin, and you will hear that from nowhere else. Every critic thinks he is playing just a geekier version of him, but he’s just playing a nicer and gentler version. Elizabeth Banks really has been doing a good job this year, especially with “W.” and “Zack and Miri Make a Porno,” and “Role Models” guarantees her an awesome comedic career. But no one in the film made me laugh harder than Jane Lynch. I won’t even tell you why. Just go see it for yourself.

 

“Role Models” has been called an Apatow-movie, even though Apatow had nothing to do with this film. I don’t see any traces of Apatow in this flick. All I see is a lot of fun, and for the most part, Apatow’s films have just been sub-par lately (excluding what was “Forgetting Sarah Marshall,” which is the best romantic comedy since “Annie Hall.”) “Role Models” has everything that you would want from a raunchy comedy. But you know what’s better than “Role Models?” “Zack and Miri Make a Porno.” And you guys are slowly forgetting about that one.

 

 

NEXT REVIEW: This weekend looks to be about the following: “Happy Go Lucky,” “Soul Men,” and “Quantum of Solace,” with possible reviews of “Rachel’s Getting Married” and “Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa.”

I’m taking a week off

I’ve been going at movie reviews for a good part of two years now, and you know what I discovered? You never get a week off. New movies come out EVERY WEEK. I’ll never be caught up with movies, but I can sure as hell try.

Unfortunately, now I’m being pushed back even further. I missed “Changeling” last week because I had no time to get there (and don’t say shit like “WELL YOU COULDA SAW “CHANGELING” IF YOU DIDN’T GO SEE “HSM3″!!!” Yeah, so what? There’s still always DVD right.

But on Friday night, I’m doing something that is going to probably happen only once or twice in my life – I’m seeing my hero, Kevin F. Smith, live.

And his middle initial stands for Fuckin’.

Ladies and sirs, I’m so excited for this Kevin Smith event that I’m bleeding excitement just hearing the word Kevin Smith. I’m hoping that he will be talking a lot about “Zack and Miri” (that’s a given), but I’m also hoping he talks about seeing “Watchmen,” “Star Trek,” and “The Dark Knight.” I hope he gives the audience and I the conclusion of the “Manchild” story that supposedly ended on a Threevening with Kevin Smith. And by god, I hope he gives the audience a good time.

So what does this mean? Unfortunately, I’ll be out all day Friday, coming back in late Friday night, and sleeping in all day Saturday so I can rebound myself before Monday when school begins again. This means that I can’t get to some of the films I was planning on reviewing this week, including “Madagascar 2” and “Role Models.” Which is a shame, because the latter looked funny and the earlier looked like a “Saw” trap. And I’m really upset because I’m dying to see “Rachel’s Getting Married,” which is expanding near me. Hopefully they are still playing during the Thanksgiving holiday?

So yeah, long story short, you won’t be seeing any of my reviews for any of the new releases this week. I’ll be back sometime next weekend with a review of the new Bond flick “Quantum of Solace,” and without making any promises, a review for “Rachel’s Getting Married” and a review of “Bolt” if it decides to have a sneak peek in my town. And if anything expands, like “Repo: The Genetic Opera,” “Synecdoche, New York,” “JCVD,” and “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas,” you can look for reviews of them too next week.

So… sorry…

TonyD

"I’m twelve. But I’ve been twelve for a long time." "Let the Right One In" Review

“Låt den rätte komma in” (“Let the Right One In”)
2008
**** out of ****
Director: Tomas Alfredson
Cast: Kare Hedebrant, Lina Leandersson, Per Ragnar

In all of the films that I’ve seen, I threw words around such as “amazing,” “brilliant,” and “kickass.” I’ve seen films that I would consider to be “fantastic” and “great,” but I have also seen films that I would consider to be “terrible” and “worthless.” But there is one word that I don’t use much. Actually, I only used it once in my life, and it was to describe my all-time favorite film, “Sin City.” That word is “magnificent,” and yesterday, I used it a second time.

Last night, I saw the ultimate film of the year. “Let the Right One In” is a daring and horrifying film, but it is masterful and poetic in every way. It is beautiful and filled of love, but it is also one of the most realistic fantasy films I have ever seen. This is something that I wasn’t expecting. I have gotten people to go see films in the past, but I’m making everyone go see this one little film. It is magnificent. Once the word gets out that “Let the Right One In” is the best film of the year, I guarantee you that you will never forget this film. It will be engraved in your memory and you’ll never lose it. And after the film ends, you’ll want to watch it again, and again, and again.

Simply, “Let the Right One In” is a masterpiece.

Oskar (Kare Hedebrant) lives with his mother in an apartment complex who is frequently picked on by school bullies. He carries around a knife for self-defense but never uses it, and saves newspaper clippings on violent crimes that have occurred. In the apartment next door, a little girl Eli (Lina Leandersson) and her father Hakan (Per Ragnar) have moved in. Oskar and Eli begin talking on the jungle-gym in front of their complex, and they start becoming great friends. But Eli is hiding a huge secret – she’s a vampire. And it is only a matter of time until Oskar finds out…

“Let the Right One In” is based off a novel by John Lindqvist, who also penned the screenplay. He very well knows his own material, and instead of showing a horror flick that contains jumpy moments, he creates a more psychological film that causes you to look deeper into the characters’ relationships with one another.

The relationship between Eli and Hakan is pretty complex, but it is just right to examine. Her father and Eli live off of blood, and it is Hakan’s job to go get the blood. But Hakan asks, when is enough enough? Hakan and Eli have to travel from city to city so they can get away from the crime that they have caused, but Hakan is tired of living the life. In a scene in which the film takes a right turn, Hakan asks Eli to kill him so Eli could survive and live by herself. It is a beautiful and poetic scene of just how much her father really does care.

When it comes to Oskar and Eli, we are seeing one of the most compelling relationships of the decade. Here is Oskar, who is defenseless and is just looking for a friend. When Eli comes along, she puts a little bit of life into Oskar. You can tell as the film progresses how much Oskar changes once she comes along. He begins to grow a little bit more self-confident and starts standing up for himself more. He feels comfortable around her and even asks her to be his girlfriend. Once he discovers that she is a vampire, he doesn’t feel the least bit forsaken.

The same goes for Eli. When she and Oskar first began talking, there was a sense of awkwardness in their relationship. Later on in the film, you can tell how much she has fallen in love with him, and it makes it hard for her to keep traveling around Sweden while leaving him behind. A scene comes where Oskar purposely stabs himself in the thumb so he can show just how committed he is to their relationship, and Eli jumps all over his blood while screaming for him to leave. It shows how she doesn’t want anything bad to happen to him. Remember when I said that “Wall-E” was one of the greatest love-stories ever told? This very well just may be the GREATEST.

There are a few little subplots here and there that make the film a lot more interesting. It describes the power that she has even more and shows just how hard it is to maintain it. Now, I haven’t read the book, and apparently, there is a little “thought” in the book that Eli was a boy at one time. Maybe the book dives into the topic a lot more, but the film questions throughout the flick such as whether or not Eli is a boy or a girl. There is a little “shot” that leaves us questioning, but the film doesn’t dive into it anymore than that. There is so much to look for the next time I watch it.

But I’m going to do something that is shunned upon all film critics. I want you guys to e-mail me at TonyD@FilmArcade.net if you really want to see the film. I will post the trailer at the bottom of the review, and if you are interested, I want you to e-mail me. I won’t post anything here, but I’ll reply back, and perhaps you may be interested…

“Let the Right One In” is a fascinating film that has so much to offer. It is too bad that it is being remade in the next couple years, but I’ll never forget this film. I want everyone to see this movie. I want everyone to feel the same way that I did.

"I think I’m going to like camping." – "Splinter" Review

“Splinter”
2008
***½ out of ****
Director: Toby Wilkins
Cast: Shea Whigham, Paulo Costanzo, Jill Wagner

This weekend’s horror flick was “The Haunting of Molly Hartley,” which, from what I’ve heard by the critics on Rotten Tomatoes, are calling it one of the worst films of the year. For some reason, I’m not surprised at all. But here is what is more surprising. This same weekend, another horror film came out starring Shea Whigham and the guy from the “Friends” spinoff “Joey.” “Splinter” was only released in four theaters over this weekend, and it is probably one of the best horror films of the year. It’s not as good as “Quarantine” and “The Signal,” but it is definitely right up there with “Midnight Meat Train.”

Couple Seth and Polly (Paulo Costanzo and Jill Wagner) are going on a camping trap where everything really isn’t going so well, while ex-convict Dennis (Shea Whigham) and his crystal meth-addicted girlfriend Lacey (Rachel Kerbs) aren’t having a good day either. While Seth and Polly are in their SUV, Dennis carjacks them, and forces Polly to drive as far as the car can get them too. They end up running over something with spines, which flattens one of the tires.

It turns out that once you touch one of these spines, you start deforming and make bones in your body go all different ways, and then you die. This brings them to this deserted gas-station, where apparently these “spines” have attacked the gas station worker. They also attack Lacey and kill her, and Seth, Polly, and Dennis are now stuck in a gas station fighting for their lives. Will they be able to break out without having any damage done to any of them?

“Splinter” is directed by Toby Wilkins, who isn’t as much of a director as he is a visual effects supervisor for a few films over the past few years. He also has put together a few main title and end title sequences in a few flicks. Surprisingly, Wilkins didn’t work on the special effects in “Splinter,” which I thought looked really good with the film. There is a scene that is an obvious homage to “Evil Dead 2” that I thought looked great, but I can’t really give him the credit there. Nonetheless, his directing is “Splinter” is pretty damn fine. Too bad he just has to ruin it later next year when he releases a direct-to-DVD sequel of “The Grudge.”

The film isn’t original by any means, but it definitely brings a lot of thrills to the table. The film is eighty-two minutes long including credits, and the eighty-two minutes go by in a breeze. The second half is filled with so much action that you would think that it couldn’t get any better. If I had any problem with the film, it would be that the first half spent a little bit too much time working on developing the characters instead of getting them to their destination for the rest of the film, but it still works out pretty well in the end.

The acting is decent also. Paulo Costanzo from that show “Joey” that I was talking about earlier does a good job with his role, showing some actual acting talent. (I’m surprised too.) Shea Whigham does an awesome job as being the despicable villain, but come the end of the film, we actually start liking him once we begin to feel why he did what he had to do to the couple. Rachel Kerbs is given time during the first half to show a lot of great acting chops, and she does it pretty damn well. I just wish we had a little bit more time with her character.

But the acting weight on this film is all held by Jill Wagner, who put on some of the best acting that I’ve seen all year. Normally, a character like hers would be weak and stupid, but she brings some great emotionality into the film and gives a hell of a strong performance. And being that her biggest role was in that “Blade” TV show that got cancelled after like a half season, it is pretty damn good to see her rebound from it. Her character is also stronger than the character played by Costanzo, which I’m not surprised about the least bit.

Most people probably never heard about “Splinter” until this weekend, but I’m sure that once it comes out on DVD, they will all find a great horror flick. It almost disgusts me that horror films like this are always shown in limited release while films like “The Haunting of Molly Hartley” is shown in over two-thousand theaters, but that’s just the way it is sometimes.

"Aw, blind orphans get everything!" – "Igor" Review

“Igor”
2008
** out of ****
Director: Anthony Leondis
Cast: John Cusack, Molly Shannon, Steve Buscemi

Instead of writing an actual review for an animated children’s film called “Igor,” which you could read on almost any movie site other than mine, why don’t I talk about just how this movie could have changed from a two star rating to a possibly three star rating, or even better, a four star?

Let me just give a quick summary of the plot in case if I have to refer to it later in my review. In a town called Malaria begins a change of climate, and the King (Jay Leno) proposes that the only way the climate could change back to normal is if these evil scientists create these new inventions. The evil scientists have these lab assistants called Igors with humps on their backs and shouldn’t have to do anything other than being a guinea-pig for the assignments. One particular Igor (John Cusack) wants to become an evil scientist and invent the perfect “villain” so he can participate in an evil scientist fair and win the top prize. His plan is to create a singing and dancing Molly Shannon.

I couldn’t even come up with a better joke for that.

I’ll begin right now by bringing up a few of the supporting characters here. One character, voiced by Steve Buscemi, was a rabbit who was once dead, but after our main Igor brings him back to life, he becomes cynical and wishing that the Igor that brought him back to life had left him dead. The man hates everything that life has to offer him, and now he can’t even off himself properly. Jennifer Coolidge plays a woman character who fucks almost anything that moves to get her way, making her way to the top like such well-known celebrities as Traci Lords and Paris Hilton. The only difference is that Stifler’s mom isn’t starring in any porn.

But hold up – I thought I was watching a children’s movie. For god’s sakes, this isn’t something that I want to show my five year old brother. If the film was just the least bit dramatic, it could have passed for an animated Lifetime TV film of the week. And while watching this movie, I kind of drew up the conclusion as to why some children are so fucking violent.

And if it wasn’t for someone like Igor, we would have no one to root for throughout the movie. If you watch “Igor,” you will look at the film as being nothing more than a less serious version of Alfonso Cuaron’s “Children of Men.” To these people, there is no hope for the climate to get better, but they can sure as hell try by being evil. Try to imagine if America was really like this for a second. Can’t you picture Sarah Palin raging through the streets of Pennsylvania on the day after Election Day? Or how about young Miley Cyrus, taking off her suit and revealing that she is really a thirty year old guy and killing every one of the Jonas Brothers?

Actually, the second one doesn’t sound too bad.

But in all seriousness…

But do you know what could make this film fucking twenty times better? If it had a little bit of MEAT on its bones! And what would I like better than to see Tim Burton taking on Tim Burton-like material?! But don’t think that I mean that I want to see another “Nightmare Before Christmas” film. I know before who think that the film is like a new God and shit, but I don’t really see the appeal. I’m also not even looking for the Burton who directed “Corpse Bride,” “Sweeney Todd,” “Batman,” or “Beetlejuice.” This film would have been perfect for the Burton that directed “Edward Scissorhands.”

Because if you look very closely, “Igor” is almost like a fairy-tale, just darker and for older children who know what the words “suicidal maniac” and “been around the block” means. But there is no reason, and I mean NO REASON, why we should have the guy who directed a direct-to-video “Lilo and Stitch” movie to direct a film like “Igor.” This is one of the few guys who have told me that the word “O’hana” meant family, which in return meant no one should be left behind. So why should I have a guy who directed a kid’s movie with a powerful message like that direct a movie which has a more powerful message on the complete opposite end of the spectrum.

This review isn’t like I’m just going to murder the thing. If you look at my rating, I gave it two stars, so you know THAT has to be a good thing right? Like most animated children flicks, this one has a lot to offer with the cast, such as Cusack, Shannon, Buscemi, Leno, John Cleese, Arsenio Hall, and Christian Slater. It moves at a good enough pace that I was never bored either. The eighty minute film felt like it was only forty minutes. The ending also ended on a happy note too, which I guess could always be a good thing.

There’s a lot to offer when you go into the film, but there is also a lot left desired when you walk out. “Igor” has a great cast that is filled to the top with talent, but some stuff isn’t as suitable for some people as it should be. From what I hear, an “Igor 2” is in production. If film companies really want to make this film work, they should follow my three steps: 1. Have Tim Burton direct. 2. Have Johnny Depp take over the role of the main Igor. 3. Danny Elfman kicks everyone out of the music department and does his own stuff.

And perhaps “Igor 2” may be better than its predecessor.

"That’s called acting. You should try it sometime." – "High School Musical 3: Senior Year" Review

“High School Musical 3: Senior Year”
2008
**½ out of ****
Director: Kenny Ortega
Cast: Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashley Tisdale

And so it has been said that for the critic who has sat through all of the “High School Musical” films should get a medal. For the past three years I have been tormented with their singing and dancing, but perhaps if the “High School Musical” series really wanted to impress me they would focus on the real trouble that teenagers face in America instead of focusing on the singing and dancing. The first film was all about just fucking being annoying little teenagers who think they could do about anything they felt like doing. The second was almost the same, just they had a few boundaries that they couldn’t get past.

By god, someone actually listened to me about the third film.

I was actually planning on tearing “High School Musical 3: Senior Year” a new ass after I watched it. I will not lie. I saw the first two and if you averaged the two ratings together, both films averaged a one star rating from me. I never hated the “High School Musical” films for their singing and dancing, but rather for how the characters had acted. In the first two movies, we have gotten to know such personalities as Troy Bolton (Zac Efron, America’s golden child) as being the sexy but awesome basketball star, Gabriella Montez (Vanessa Hudgens) to be the “perfect girlfriend,” and Sharpay and Ryan Evans (Ashley Tisdale and Lucas Grabeel) as being the rich and bratty siblings who probably always had a thing for one another. And in the third one, we finally get to know everyone’s true feelings, which bring a decent conclusion to a mediocre series of films.

Troy and his team of Wildcats have now won their school’s championship, and before he graduates, he now begins looking forward to senior prom, graduating, and, of course, the spring musical. While Gabriella already knows what she plans to do for her future, Troy is going apeshit trying to think what he is going to do without her. As for everyone else in this tale of singing and dancing, Chad (Corbin Bleu) is forced to face the separation of him and Troy, and Sharpay and Ryan do almost anything to get into Julliard.

The first “High School Musical” was all about marketing the soon-to-be team phenomenon, with music that almost defined high school. But while “HSM” became popular with teenagers for the music, not a single person realized what that film was really saying. It’s alright if you can sing and dance on top of cafeteria tables, just as long as you got a voice to do it. I tried that at my school and all I get is a suspension. Then the second film came and it was almost “useless,” but it was an improvement over the first one in terms of plot and character development.

I’m glad to see the third one really does improve on everything that the first two didn’t have. It has a few memorable songs that are sure to be on a few charts in the next few weeks and it is an excellent way at looking at how seniors in high school really act. It’s all about the choices that we make and how we must face them in the future, and some of us can take it the way that it is given to us and others can’t accept it the way it is. Kenny Ortega and the crew spell it out in the music – making choices suck.

Speaking of the music, this is the first time that I can really think since the first one that the music was actually memorable. If the first film had any little good in it, it was that the music will stick in your head for a few days. The second film had music that was so unmemorable that you forgot the tunes before the film even ended. There are quite a few numbers here where they are catchy and pretty well sung. And if it wasn’t for the choreography done by Kenny Ortega, I doubt that any of this would have been memorable at all.

But here is something that I caught the more I really thought about the film. There are two numbers in the film that almost seem like that they would be more enjoyable to watch if you were under the influence of narcotics. I don’t want to spoil any of the numbers, but I think that this is now the “Across the Universe” of kid musicals. By god’s son, these fucking musical numbers are trippy!

It was almost certain that I was going to hate the new “High School Musical” because I hated the other two, but it’s definitely one of the more pleasant surprises of the year. I’ll probably never watch it again, and I’ll probably forget about it after I publish the review, but still, it deserves a little bit of attention. And as being the more decent musical out of the two that were released this year, it’s definitely should be rented. Fans of the first two shouldn’t be disappointed, and why should you be? Everyone is back and it ended on such a high note.

And something says that execs want to make a sequel.

"Nigger Tuesday? Is that a new holiday?" – "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" Review

“Zack and Miri Make a Porno”
2008
**** out of ****
Director: Kevin Smith

Cast: Seth Rogan, Elizabeth Banks, Craig Robinson

I have a confession – I’m a hardcore Kevin Smith fan.

It’s no secret, actually. From the VHS days, my first Kevin Smith film was “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.” I’ll never forget the day that I rented it – my mom was going into labor the day after, and she allowed me to rent one movie. I decided to rent this movie, and I had no idea what I was getting into. Within the first few minutes, the film fired off at least fifteen f-words, and it made me the way I am today. What made me more interested is that this was the fifth film in the “Jersey Trilogy,” as Kevin Smith called it. Over the years I rented Smith’s other films and I cannot find a dull moment in any of them. And when I heard he was making his second film away from the Jersey films, you KNEW I jumped on it… especially when the title was “Zack and Miri Make a Porno.”

And believe me, I’ve been looking forward to this movie every single day since it was announced. I bought a ticket for his Q&A in Red Bank so I could just hear him talk about the film one week after it released in theaters (which I will write about November 8th, the night after). Back in June, I thought that I wouldn’t be looking forward to a film more than Pixar’s “Wall-E,” but I was wrong. “Zack and Miri” isn’t necessarily my favorite of the two, but it is my favorite comedy of the year and Kevin Smith’s best film.

Zack (Seth Rogan) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks) have been best friends for almost all of their lives. For ten years, they’ve lived together and have shared each other’s company in their home in Monroeville, Pennsylvania. And like everyone else in the world, Zack and Miri have problems with money. After Miri has gained internet fame as being recognized as “granny-panties,” and after Zack meets a gay porn star (Justin Long) at a high school reunion, they decide the only way to get out of their financial problems is to make a porno.

So Zack gears up his best friend Delaney (Craig Robinson) to act as the producer and his hockey teammate Deacon (Jeff Anderson) to shoot the porno, and there begins the auditions… but the question is begged on both Zack and Miri’s side… will they have sex in this new porno? And will it affect their friendship?

I don’t want to get too into the humor and spoil any hilarious jokes (and believe me, there are a few hilarious ones, including one joke that you’ll miss if you don’t play very close attention), but I’ll set up a scenario for you guys. Say if you are wary about a new comedy that is being released into theaters. You think it’ll be funny, but you don’t want to waste your money on it with the chances that it might not be deadly hilarious. So you find it on the internet via bootleg, and you begin to watching it. It’s a great quality, but it is so damn funny that you are missing bits and pieces of the dialogue because people are cracking up laughing. Unfortunately, you don’t understand what jokes are being said and you will end up hating the movie.

The theater that I went to go see “Zack and Miri” in was literally packed. It was filled with Kevin Smith fans, moviegoers, and teenagers who snuck in. And we all had one consensus of the film – we all loved it. Everyone in the theater laughed. The crowd went wild throughout the entire picture. We cheered for the characters and we let them walk into our lives. We related to them and their feelings. Though most of us haven’t made a porno, we’ve all been in situations like this before, whether if it was the whole “just-friends” deal, the financial shit, and facing your high-school class at your reunion. Even I don’t want the third one.

The movie has everything, but the one thing that shines more than anything is the chemistry. We have chemistry all over the place from every single actor. They all get along very well with each other and they are all a joy to see on screen with each other. Jason Mewes is continuing to prove that he can do something other than play Jay, but it might take a little bit more work. (Sidenote: I think that Mewes character is just as, or even more, hornier than Jay was.) Pornstars Katie Morgan and Traci Lords have bits in the film that are pretty memorable, but not as memorable as the supporting role played by Craig Robinson. I don’t think that a team had such a better sidekick, but god, was I wrong. He’s so good in this movie that by the end of the weekend, I can promise you that the guy will be flooded with offers to star in new comedies.

The film isn’t without the usual Kevin Smith cameo appearances. No, Ben Affleck and Jason Lee don’t appear, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t some awesome performances by some cameo actors. The scene at the high-school reunion is absolutely hilarious, but that isn’t done without the help of Brandon Routh and Justin Long. Smith’s wife Jennifer Schwalbach Smith also has a little cameo in the film, which is hilarious for all of the wrong reasons. Tom Savini comes out of nowhere with a little cameo too, as ironic as it sounds (being shot in Monroeville, where “Dawn of the Dead” was also shot). Tyler Labine gives an excellent cameo by just shooting outta nowhere.

“Zack and Miri” isn’t without… well… Zack and Miri. Both Seth Rogan and Elizabeth Banks have the best chemistry that I’ve seen in any Kevin Smith movie. First off, think about what that means – Dante and Randall, Jay and Silent Bob, Holden and Alyssa, Bartleby and Loki, Quint and Brodie – Zack and Miri beat them all. They have chemistry throughout the film – when they are just normal everyday people who are just friends, from when they are making the porno, and from when a sudden twist comes. Nothing changes; their amazing chemistry remains the same.

Which leads me to the writing and directing. I recall Seth Rogan saying something in the movie along the lines as, “Acting and directing at the same time is harder than it looks.” I can see why Kevin Smith sat out for this film. I’ve read tons of reviews coming from different websites that it is almost like Kevin Smith is trying to cash-in on the new Judd Apatow movies by making his very own Apatow flick. I’ve read comments on forums and blogs that say stuff such as Kevin Smith forgot to add jokes in the second half. I’ve read people who actually thought this was Kevin Smith’s worst film because the film isn’t like his other films.

Because moviegoers, may I direct your attention to “Chasing Amy.” His third film is his most well-received one, but it was well-received for a reason – it wasn’t a comedy, but it was a romantic comedy. Kevin Smith made this movie a couple of years before Apatow came on the scene. The second half of “Chasing Amy” has little to no jokes, but is basically compiled of dialogue about life’s troubles. Tell me now – doesn’t “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” sound like another one of his films? Almost like that he hasn’t lost any of his touch?

I want to end this review on a note that I’ll be able to continue come my Best of 2008 list at the end of the year. Folks, Kevin Smith never went anywhere. He put a few of his characters to rest for a while so he could try something new and what he tried was a little shift in his path. It isn’t a huge one, but for a guy that is planning on taking on a horror flick and a sci-fi flick in the span of a few years, it’s a step. There is nothing offending in “Zack and Miri Make a Porno,” but there is enough for you to fall in love with the new characters.

Like I said before, I’ll always be a Kevin Smith fan until the day I die.

"Because a real RocknRolla wants the fucking lot." – "RocknRolla" Review

”RocknRolla”
2008
**** out of ****
Director: Guy Ritchie
Cast: Gerald Butler, Mark Strong, Tom Wilkinson

If you told me a few weeks ago back in September that I would have lived to see my home team win the World Series and would have seen Guy Ritchie make a good movie again in the same week, I would have probably shanked you to death. But it’s happened – and I’m surprised like fuck. The Phillies, which is without a doubt the best team IN the league now (and try and fight that with me, because we can just look at the stats), win the World Series and everyone is surprised. Some of us probably still don’t believe that the Phillies have won the World Series this year.

I’m the person that still doesn’t believe that Guy Ritchie made such a film like “RocknRolla.”

Yes, remember that Guy Ritchie back in 1998 and 2000? Neither did I, until today. After “Snatch.,” he came out with one of the worst films that I’ve ever seen, the remake of “Swept Away,” starring no one other than his ex-wife Madonna. Then he directed with “Revolver,” which really isn’t terrible, just sooo fucking boring. If you really want to know how boring it is, I fell asleep during it. I only fell asleep while watching two movies in my life, and that was one of them. But after this, I totally forgot about that shitty remake and that cure to insomnia. I really don’t want to say anything this close in the review, but “RocknRolla” is one of the best and most fun films of the year.

“People ask the question… what’s a RocknRolla?” says Archie (Mark Strong) in a voiceover at the beginning of the film. His boss, Lenny, (Tom Wilkinson) has control of London’s real-estate. Two gangsters, One-Two (Gerald Butler) and Mumbles, (Idris Elba) ask Lenny to finance a piece of real-estate property by giving them a loan. Instead, he double-crosses them and they are in millions of pounds in debt.

They meet Stella, (Thandie Newton) who plans on stealing money from her boss Uri, (Karel Roden) a Russian mobster. In order for Stella to get some of the money back, she hires One-Two and Mumbles and their friend Bob (Tom Hardy) to do the dirty work. It turns out that Uri and Lenny are in the middle of settling a deal on real-estate, and Uri gives Lenny his “good-luck” painting for a while. When it gets stolen, Lenny tells Archie to keep a close eye on all of the gangsters in the area. He also keeps a watch on Lenny’s stepson Johnny Quid, (Toby Kebbell) who fakes his death to get more record sales and do as much heroin as he possibly can.

Guy Ritchie is back in full form, introducing us new characters that we learn to love that are in similar style of the characters in his first two films. “RocknRolla” relies on a little technique that Alfred Hitchcock used to use back in his days – the good ol’ McGuffin. It worked for other gangster films such as “Pulp Fiction,” and it most certainly works here. Here, the McGuffin is the painting that is lent to Lenny. Like the briefcase in “Pulp Fiction,” we never see what the painting looks like. We just know that it is very valuable to Uri. This is the most important part of the film because it drives the story.

But the film is all about how we get things that we don’t give back. This is all centered on Lenny, who is the description of a real RocknRolla. He promises to give to One-Two, but doesn’t give it all and One-Two is in a whole bunch of shit. It is almost a godsend to One-Two that Lenny is in a whole bunch of shit when someone breaks into Lenny’s place and steals the painting. This becomes important because we are witnessing Lenny’s business deal going sour. If only he would have helped One-Two, this might not have happened. Fucking Jigsaw couldn’t even give him a better punishment.

Aw, hell, I’m getting too far ahead of myself. “RocknRolla” isn’t about its themes, but all that Guy Ritchie is just trying to show us is that he can still have fun making movies, and you can have fun watching them. There is never a dull moment in “RocknRolla;” nothing feels out of place or like it should have been left on the cutting room floor. There is just enough action to be balanced with the right amount of humor to the right amount of story. The plot seems a little bit complicating, but I assure you, it’s easy enough to figure out. The film wouldn’t be without some of the great acting though.

The movie is lead by Gerald Butler, who plays almost the exact opposite of who he played in “300.” Idris Elba comes back from starring in a shitty horror remake to one of the most entertaining gangsters in film history. Tom Wilkinson brings his guns to “RocknRolla.” He is easy to hate his character but it is also easy to love his role. Thandie Newton is flawless in “RocknRolla,” which is pretty funny because she starred in “W.” a few weeks ago where she doesn’t do anything but look good. Mark Strong, who also starred in “Body of Lies” a few weeks ago and did a great job, gives a flawless performance also, so much that I think he should be nominated for an Oscar for this role. But the actor that I’m most impressed with is Toby Kebbell, who plays the heroin-addicted rock-star.

As I fall asleep tonight, I will have to try and take everything in – my team winning the World Series and Guy Ritchie making a great movie again. This really is too much for one week. When next week rolls around, the only thing that I will be surprised about is how come there is not a single fine movie like “RocknRolla” released in theaters.

"Do you even remember who you really are anymore?" – "Nights in Rodanthe" Review

“Nights in Rodanthe”
2008
** out of ****
Director: George C. Wolfe
Cast: Diane Lane, Richard Gere, James Franco

As a film reviewer, I try to go into every film with an open mind, but sometimes, it just doesn’t work out. I went into “Nights in Rodanthe” thinking that I was going to HATE it, and if you remember the last movie adapted from a book a few years back, I should have had every little bit of reason to think I was going to hate it. Nothing against Nicholas Sparks or any of the few filmmakers that adapted his work or the actors that starred in their films, but I can’t deal with sappy romance, on and off screen, and I really can’t tolerate girls telling me about how sad “A Walk to Remember” is.

Sorry, but it’s not.

But I must admit that even I was surprised by “Nights in Rodanthe.” It still isn’t a great movie by any means, and isn’t even decent, but with its moments here and there, the brilliant acting, and an ending that if I had even a fourth of a heart I probably would have shed a tear, “Nights in Rodanthe” could have been much worse. When I say much worse, I mean “The Notebook”-worse.

Diane Lane plays an unhappy married mother named Adrienne. Her daughter (Mae Whitman) hates her and her husband (Christopher Meloni) can’t live without her (but it’s the opposite with her). Her best friend Jean (Viola Davis) has to leave town for the weekend and Adrienne takes over running the little inn that Jean owns and operates. She leaves her kids with her husband for the weekend, expecting nothing. A man that is staying there, Dr. Paul Flanner, (Richard Gere) expected nothing but grief. But once the two of them come together on this very weekend in preparation for a big storm hitting the shores of Rodanthe, sparks fly, and romance is in the air.

I can think of some ways that “Nights in Rodanthe” does work. One of them have to do with the moments where we are just around with Diane Lane and Richard Gere. No, not with them together. There is nothing that I want to see less than two middle-aged people kissing and banging, because I could see that for free at home. But what holds the film together is when they are acting away from each other. There is a scene with Gere talking to a man played by Scott Glenn and this really does show that the man has acting talents. When he’s with Diane Lane? It’s almost like he’s in “Untraceable 2: Even More Untraceable.”

The ending is really good too. I don’t want to really spoil anything, especially for people who haven’t read the book or seen the movie, but it definitely brings the movie to a satisfying conclusion. And unlike “The Notebook,” this time the ending actually works, because we’re not being fooled the entire time by our narrator. I actually think of “The Notebook” being the romantic version of “Righteous Kill,” with less violence and more kissy-lovey. “Nights of Rodanthe” takes its time with the ending, revealing every last bit of our main characters’ feelings.

I should not forget about the amazing setting of the film. Rodanthe doesn’t play as more of a place for the film, but it should be considered as a whole another character as well. The biggest problem with the setting, though, is when the film takes a turn in the second act when the storm takes place. The film doesn’t focus on Rodanthe, but focuses on the two characters and their relationship. I wouldn’t be bitching if the film didn’t need to focus on that storm, but fuck, the film really needed to focus on THAT STORM.

And there are plenty of problems, one of them being Diane Lane. She comes off as a slightly more normal version of Julianne Moore. She isn’t playing anyone believable; she’s playing an overly-miserable woman who isn’t happy with her life. Had she been suicidal and a little bit more self-loathing, I might have believed her role a little bit more.

Another problem was James Franco. He plays Dr. Paul’s son, who hasn’t talked to him since Richard Gere accidentally did something that he is still paying for. He wasn’t terrible, but there isn’t enough of him. His role is small but important, and if his role was really that important, the film should have focused a little bit more on his character and not as much on the growing relationship between Lane and Gere. The biggest upset though is that if he was in the movie a little bit more, he would have probably been nominated for an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. He’ll just have to stick to either “Milk” or “Pineapple Express,” and yes, I think he deserves one for that stoner flick. He played the PERFECT stoner.

Still, while I can’t really give too much pity on the film because I enjoyed it a bit, I can say that it is far from flawless. Though, this is a start for movies adapted from Nicholas Sparks novels. “The Notebook” wasn’t a good movie because the audience was teased from the beginning. “A Walk to Remember” wasn’t a good flick because the actors were stiff the entire time and never showed any emotion. “Nights in Rodanthe,” though, is one of the films that either you will like or hate, or in my case, you’ll be in between.

NEXT REVIEW: Guy Ritchie returns to the screen with “RocknRolla.”